Wednesday, December 26, 2007

With The Fate Of The Free World Hanging In The Balance...


Maybe not that dramatic, but this is the last chance for Gamecocks to get a victory in 2007, also known as The Year We Sucked In Everything Except Women's Equestrian. Sure the Yard 'Cocks came close to Omaha, but I think everyone knows losing the third game of a Super Regional is about as much fun as being the 3rd most popular religion in Iraq. Anyway, we have one last shot at redemption, and it has gotten off to a bad start already. I present, for your consideration, one Whitney Jones...
Ms. Jones is competing in the CBS Sports SPiN College Cheerleader of the Year. Seeded 16th in the playoff (I know, a playoff for cheerleaders but not football. It makes sense on some planet.), Whitney is up against the #1 seed from R-Kansas in the first round and desperately needs the Gamecock nation's help making it to the next round. Right now she has only 20% of the 13,208 votes. But voting continues through Monday so I'm sure we can find a way to level the playing field (read: use every computer we can find to vote as many times as possible, and/or cheat) by then. Remember a vote for Whitney is not just a vote for the Gamecocks, and freedom and the American way, it's a vote for all those blonde-hating brunettes everywhere. Vote early and vote often.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

An Early Present, From Snead To You

You can thank me later...

A Muppet Family Christmas Part 1 of 5
A Muppet Family Christmas Part 2 of 5
A Muppet Family Christmas Part 3 of 5
A Muppet Family Christmas Part 4 of 5
A Muppet Family Christmas Part 5 of 5


Friday, December 21, 2007

All Aboard The Complain Train

If you think The State is South Carolina's worst newspaper, you're a Gamecock or you haven't read many South Carolina newspapers. Either way, you probably aren't far off from the truth. Ron Morris is one of the many hacks The State employs to cover USC athletics and I can only assume the anger he normally vents at his extensive list of subjects (USC and Clemson) is fed by the reality that he is a little man with a little voice in a little market, with very little chance of ever writing anything relevant. He clearly gave up on relevancy years ago when more independent newspapers like the Free Times, blog writers and probably even blind elephants started producing more interesting writing. He then found the most creative and innovative style of sports writing: pissing people off makes you relevant.

With that avenue of appraoch, I have to admit Ronnie has found great success. I'm sure he loves all the emails he gets with each column he writes. I'm sure The State thinks as long as people are complaining and threatening to cancel subscriptions, they must be buying and reading the paper. Meanwhile, The State's reach across the state continues to dwindle. I don't think you can buy the paper east of I-95 and while many national papers are seeing online ad revenue rise, I make sure never to click through anything linked on a State website and I'm sure most casual viewers do the same. State and local papers, and their writers, either need to learn to adjust to the changing landscape or just give it up.

Ron's latest scathing rebuttal of all things USC centers around plans for a new parking lot in place of the state farmer's market next to the stadium. Ron fails to point out that one of the biggest criticisms of USC football is the lack of pleasurable tailgating environments. Well now the university is attempting to correct that and Ron says all of South Carolina will suffer. If you haven't been into the farmer's market lately, you might believe some of this anti-USC propaganda. But if you're a regular visitor, you know the market is in dire straits and needs a fresh start. The new market and new parking area for USC is a win/win situation for all of us. Referring to the current market as any kind of "paradise" is laughable at best and sad, misguided, mean-spirited, stupid, blind and petty at worst. Ron Morris will write anything to get a rise out of people and since the USC community is the largest population in Columbia, we're an easy target.

Finally, here's a sample of Ron's headlines. Do they sound like someone looking to tell stories and inform the public, or someone with nothing relevant to say who has to bitch, moan and complain in order to avoid being ignored completely?

Farmers Market boils down to how much money the Gamecocks can make
Past time for USC to cut ties with Lindsey twins
Accusations taint Roberts
Billboard no laughing matter
Multitude of reasons for collapse
Clemson must answer close calls
Hollow lawsuits change little
Admissions should be left out of coaches' hands
The Official Ron Morris Complain Train: Pay Attention To Me! 2007 Edition

Thursday, December 20, 2007

A 2007 "Celebrity" Death You May Not Have Noticed


I wanted to post about No Country for Old Men which I finally got to see tonight (it's only playing in one theater here in Columbia), but I got distracted during my WikiResearch by this note which I found on the Wiki entry for the book version of NCfOM:
In an odd coincidence, there is a passing reference in the novel (page 216) to the real-life 1979 murder in San Antonio of federal judge John Wood. The convicted killer of Judge Wood was Charles Harrelson, the father of Woody Harrelson, who plays Carson Wells in the film version.
Woody Harrelson? THAT Woody Harrelson's father was a convicted killer? How did I miss that? Now granted I wasn't paying much attention to anything other than girls and baseball in 1994, but it would seem like the son of a convicted killer playing the role of a killer for entertainment would have been noteworthy.

Anyway, so here's the deal: Charlie was an assassin. In NCfOM, Woody plays an assassin. In reality, Charlie got convicted in 1979 and died in prison a few months ago. In NCfOM, well, check it for yourself to see how Woody fares. Or if you're a Cohen brothers fan, or a Tommy Lee Jones fan, or a fan of movies. But don't do it if you're squeamish. This isn't exactly a date movie. Unless your father was an assassin who died in prison...

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Congrads!

Congratulations to the Fall '07 graduates, from The U of SC and everywhere except Clemson. I hope you Cleminals wake up tomorrow and realize what an awful decision you've made. Cleanse your soul of all things orange before it's too late. A special congrats to my two favorite new alumi, Cory Boyd and Clio Andris. Also, a belated fare thee well to Doc Sorenson, whose bowtie will be missed at all the sporting events he regularly attends. Hopefully he hangs around for the last baseball season to see us win a national championship which will keep Ray Tanner from leaving our school in a rage over the lack of progress building a new stadium. Speaking of which, I'm officially endorsing Ray Tanner for President of The U of SC in 2008. First order of business: fire the guy responsible for the baseball stadium fiasco.

No more school! Bring on Christmas and New Years and loads of alcohol! And next semester's tuition and ever-rising textbook prices! Hoo-ray!

Friday, December 14, 2007

3 and Out

GEOL Final: Monday 2 p.m.
HIST Final: Thursday 3 p.m.
PHIL Final: Friday 2 p.m.
Get Hammered: Friday 7 p.m.

Coming down the backstretch...



GEOL Final: Monday 2 p.m.
HIST Final: Thursday 3 p.m.
Two Down, One To Go

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Listening While I Type

As opposed to whistling while I work, I suppose...

free music

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Boom!

Let the search for a new Defensive Coordinator begin! Gamecock fans have bitched about Coach Nix all season, and now they get their wish. I just hope we have better luck finding a replacement than Michigan. Meanwhile, as soon as SOS calls me for my recommendation, I'm pointing him to Auburn's Will Muschamp, who will not be the head coach at R-Kansas, thanks to Bobby Petrino fleeing the coaching wasteland that is the Atlanta Falcons. As you can see in the video below, Muschamp is exactly what we need. An FCC-be-damned, fire-and-brimstone guy who will invite the opponents' offense into a church for service, bar the door from the outside and set the roof on fire. That's what gets you the 6th-best defense in the country.

Our AD hasn't apparently done much right lately (see, University of South Carolina Baseball Stadium Debacle) so it would be great if we could land a high-powered, proven guy to right our defensive unit while SOS finally puts the fire under his Cock an' Fire offense. Or maybe he'll just name himself Offensive and Defensive Coordinator. That would probably be just fine with plenty of Carolina fans.



Anyway, I'm headed to Beaufort this afternoon to celebrate the retirement of an old, bat-shit-crazy friend, then hustlin' back to the Capital City to start hammering out my soon-to-be extraordinary paper on city planning in colonial Philadelphia and Charleston.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Winner!



GEOL Final: Monday 2 p.m.
One Down, Two To Go

Finals Week


GEOL Final: Monday 2 p.m.
HIST Final: Thursday 3 p.m.
PHIL Final: Friday 2 p.m.
Get Hammered: Friday 7 p.m.

Friday, December 7, 2007

To Those Who Did Not Learn From History


Pearl Harbor Attack to Be Mourned
By AUDREY McAVOY, Associated Press

USS Arizona
National Parks Service

Pearl Harbor Raid, 7 December 1941 --Overview and Special Image Selection
U.S. Naval Historical Center

The Battle Over the Legacy of Pearl Harbor Rages On
Both America and Japan Hold Defective Views on the Attack
by Martin Woollacott

Remembering Pearl Harbor
National Geographic

Internment of Japanese Americans in Concentration Camps
University of Dayton

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

acabado!

Coincidently, acabado could mean "completed" or "ruined" in Spanish.

My History 300 paper
A Missed Opportunity: The Legacy of Governor James F. Byrnes

My proposal for a new marker at the James F. Byrnes Memorial on the SC Statehouse grounds
Governor Byrnes and Segregation

Take that you dead, white bastard!

Sheet

Things I Missed While Writing About South Carolina Segregation At The Computer Lab:



Damn you, broken home computer and non-reminding DVR...